I have always been fascinated with dreads. For as long as I can remember I have always thought that dreaded hair was beautiful. I dont care what state it is in, the beginning, the middle, or the long haul state. For me it was a sign that that particular person was going against the grain. Being different from everybody else. I like that. Just like the fro's at one time when it was taboo to wear one; you know during the time when others were getting their hair pressed and then relaxed. I remember when I was in Junior high and I got teased cause I was wearing a fro... I remember being told girl u need to get yo nappy head done. LOL Funny now, but it wasnt too funny then. I still wore my fro and my mickey mouse ears. (fro puffs) i wanted to dread my hair WAAAAAAAY back then......I was the one that was different ANYWAY. I wore dresses all the time, I didnt have my ears pierced, and I didnt even wear the brand name skirts( at that time Lee) LOL. I sewed some of my skirts, just because I took pride in doing something the way I wanted it done, and looking the way I wanted it to look...The boys liked me cause I was different. The girls hated me cause the boys liked me.... Anywhoo, not a lot has changed from then to now. I did finally get my hair relaxed the summer before going to high school. hated it. I looked like everybody else..... Sooooo, what did I do, not get it relaxed except for like 2x a year. I wore it teased and as big as I could get it, I wore plaits in it, I stood out. I wasnt trying on purpose to stand out, but I just didnt feel like I was an individual anymore. I looked like all of the other 9th grade girls except for I still wore my skirts, long and flowing. I still wore my babydoll shoes.....and would even wear a wrap now and again. Thats when that wasnt a going thing. Quite honestly it was unheard of now that I think about it. So to a degree I had a little bit of my individuality left..... Still wasnt liked by the girls, and the boys STILL liked me cause I was "different." The few friends that I did make and trust, we are STILL friends to this very day... :o) Fast forward, after HS, into college, into the work life, what happened? Started perming on a regular, like every 8 wks or so. What would I do? Wear it pulled back into a ponytail, or pin my hair up on my head. I feel like I really "lost" myself after HS. Its not hard to explain, I just rather not go into it on a blog. Believe me my journals have all the details. Any whoo, I go thru my 20's contemplating going back to my natural state.. I did. I cut all my hair off and wore a fro again. Oh how I felt liberated. The only ones I knew then that were wearing a fro was from the 60's and never fell into the stereotypical hair scene, or they were recovering from chemo. My permie counterparts thought I was trying to "connect" to my African roots.....They thought I was going through a "stage"... I got the pressure from family, I got the pressure from coworkers. I felt the pressure from people in the street... "what is going on with her hair?" funny huh.... So what did I do? fell into the permie state again. I wasnt happy; at all. Did that for a few and then just decided, I just cant do this anymore. I aint being true, its not even who I am. I sat down one evening and literally thought about that girl from Junior High and even though I was different from all the other girls I actually LOVED who I was. Bring the story to 2007.... After being natural a 3rd time around I finally decided that dreads would be my signature "style" till death do me part. So now, I look around and locs arent so "different" anymore. It appears to be "mainstream" if I dare say for some. But I don't know I can kinda feel a person's real connection to their locs. Its kinda crazy... I look at the ones who have locs that are grazing well below the midsection of their back and I KNOW they are NOT wearing their locs as a fashion statement. I look at the roots and I don't see that ultra manicured look and I know in my gut they are NOT into a loc fashion club... They are at peace with themselves, and the amount of time that it took them to grow their locs to that length I am sure they learned a lot about themselves... Yes, I am guilty of being manicured to a degree, but I have learned something in the past few months...... This aint no hairstyle for me, its becoming who I really am, who I was way back when, it says something about MY individuality... It says that Fe loves Fe... big hug....I have always been plagued as the "black sheep" of my family and I never looked at it as a bad thing. I kinda feel like the "black sheep" with my locs, but its not a bad thing... Its me. Its who I am really meant to be. I feel like I am coming out of my cacoon. :o) Its like I was put to sleep for a minute the summer I went to high school, like I was sleeping beauty but now I am waking up. yea, the grammatics are all off, but you get the picture... :o) I still sew, I still wear skirts every single day, long and flowing.. :o) but now i have my ears pierced and a few other piercings, the women like me and the only man I worry about liking/loving me is my boo... Individual I am.....
So, what is my desire? I want locs that will graze my hindside, cascading past my knees..... Sounds like the longhaul to me.. :o) Happy Tuesday, ya'll...

Grace and Peace, ~Fe~