I had no idea that it had been well over a month since I posted to my blog. I have had so many things going on until time has seemed like a blur. You know as women we really go thru alot. First, if we decide to have children, we go thru so many changes physically and emotionally. Then we deliver our children into this world. We go thru hours of pain and pain and birth those beautiful children into the world. Then we teach them, nurture them, raise them. Get them into the teenage years and then things start to change. God help me. I have 4 beautiful children, ages 18,15,10, and 20 months. I love them all and would give my life for them.... My two older ones are boys and it is so hard for teenage black boys in this world. The peer pressure is CRAZY now adays. I remember the hardest thing I had to endure peer pressure wise was sex and smoking... Now, our kids are plagued with gangs, sex, drugs, and so much more.. My boys are very talented. The oldest is very artistic. He designs clothes, he is very talented in music, he can sketch, draw whatever is on his mind, he has mad haircut skills, and he is a wonderful dancer. All of the above skills could take him to so many different places in life. My speech to him is to strive to be his own boss... He sells his artwork now, he plays for different venues in the area, he dances for different events, he cuts male and female hair. Sounds like he could do some thangs... :o) My baby boy(15) is very talented in the sports arena. Whatever sport he plays, he plays very well. He is mathematically inclined. His goal is to go to college and major in mathematical engineering... Music to a mother's ear I tell you.... He is more of the outgoing one and can make a friend at just the greeting of hello... To me that is a gift. Also a curse... God help me. My baby has gotten himself mixed up into something that will STOP him from attending college, stop him from playing HS sports, and ultimately stop him from being that open friendly guy that he is. Nobody wants to see their child go thru anything contrary to what has been taught in the home ya feel me. I have listened to people talk about kids and how this starts at home, that starts at home, and that is so true. Well, the question that I have is when you have someone that has been taught right from wrong and they still make STUPID choices do you still point the finger at the parents? Even prior to what has happened in my home I have often as that question. I have witnessed other parents that did what was right with their children and the children STILL go contrary to what is being taught. So is that considered a dysfunctional home? I want to know the answer to that question, primarily for my own sanity.... God help me... Those that read my blog I solicit prayers, don't just say you will pray, but really pray for us here in NC. My baby is looking at some serious prison time for making stupid choices in "friends". His gift has backfired on him and as his mamma I am scared for him. I am scared for me, I am scared for my daughter who is 10 and looks up to her brother like there is no other. I am scared for his dad who feels like he let his son down in some sort of way. I am scared for my 20 month old who goes into his room calling my son's name and he gets no answer. I am scared for my 18 yr old who is plagued with questions from teachers, peers, coaches, everybody that knows him and he doesnt know how to respond without feeling some type of guilt. We are going thru at this holiday season and yet we still give thanks... So any blogger buddies out there, please say a prayer for us. it doesnt have to be long, just something that says look out for Fe's family. Thanks to all! Happy Tuesday, ya'll....

~Fe~