Its summer time

Yep, sure is. I have enjoyed my time this summer. Not worrying about hair and just being free. That's me you know. Free. Started working on my book :o). Oh I didn't tell anyone, did I. Kinda kept that tidbit to myself cause, just because. It's not like I really care what people have to say, it's more or less, I don't want you raining on my parade. If I'm joyful Imma stay joyful. Don't feel like hearing all of the nag negative not so nice remarks. Kids are good, my oldest is stressing me, but i have handed him right back to his creator, Almighty, all knowing, God. I have done my part as a parent, what else can I do? Nothing but pray. He's a GROWN man. He is not a child anymore. I can try to guide and give advice, but when you don't want the guidance or the advice, what can ya do? Nada. Nuff said. Love you baby boy. That is for real. Anyhoo, hair is doing well! Majority of the warm months has been dedicated to just washing and going. I think, now, don't hold me to it, but I think the last time I twisted my hair was when me and boo went for our pictures.... Hmmm. I think that is it. Well, I broke down and twisted last of June. Went like 12 weeks. Can you believe that? Not trying to put a particular timeframe on twisting, just didnt feel like doing it... Felt good just washing and going, or washing and then rolling, but no twisting. I'm pleased. :o) I am going to attach a little bit of my book for you to sample. Let me know what you think... If its negative, its still all good... :o) Love Peace and Happiness! ~Fe~

Excerpt from my "book"...... :o)

I sat in bed filing my nails, listening to the TV. Nothing good was on, but decided to leave it on the TV guide channel anyway, just to hear the noise.

"Baby, I want to talk to you."
"What about?"
"Its about us, and what has happened to us….."

It was raining like cats and dogs that day. I was determined to get to where I needed to be; where I wanted to be at the moment. The traffic was at a slow snarl, but determination and lust will get you where you want to be. Damn, I missed my turn, or did I just exit too soon. I gotta call and let him know where I am. Don’t want him to think I’m not coming. Let me get through this first light and then I’ll call. I don’t know where the hell I am.
"Hey, it’s me."
"Where are you?"
"I think I am lost. I am at the corner of Bragg and Lucas."
"Oh baby, you are at the wrong end. You need to trun around and come back down Bragg then turn right on Oleander. How did you get mixed up?"
"I don’t know. The rain, my thoughts, everything just kind of ran together."
"Do you want me to come and get you."
"No, I can find you. Just stay put. I’ll be there in a few."
I turned my car around and went back down Bragg. I saw Oleander Street before. I knew I should have gone down that street, but something inside me told me to keep going. I should have listened to my inner being. She always tries to tell me what is right from wrong, but I seem to always out talk her.

"Ok, so turn right on Oleander, now what am I supposed to do." I fumbled on my passenger seat for my laptop with the mapquest directions.

Mental note, I have got to get this navigation system going. There is no need to have it and I am still using mapquest.

"Ok, lets see the house number is 7854 Oleander."

I look at the houses on the street and am impressed. All brick, three story homes with black gates surrounding the properties. Impressive. I see Edward has done well for himself throughout the years. Very impressive. I pull onto the driveway and before I can ring the buzzer to announce my presence the gate opens. Very impressive. Not impressive enough to get me back though. As I drive down the driveway, I am mentally checking myself. Be sure not to sound unsure of yourself, be sure to be stern, be sure to put it all on the line. This will definitely be the end to this nonsense.

"You arrived safely, I’m glad."
Man that baritone voice is so convincing, so soothing, so right.
"Yes, I am here. I’m so sorry that it took me so long. The traffic is terrible. The rain is making it almost impossible to go any faster than 45 and that’s on the highway."
"It’s okay, love. I just wanted you to be safe. We have time, there is no need to rush."
His thoughfulness is what always got me. Always looking out for me, or was he really?
"Are you hungry, have you already eaten? We can go out if you want, if that is what you really want, or I can have something delivered."
He always has to throw in a side thought, .. if that is what you really want.. my ass..
"No, I am okay. My stomach doesn’t feel much like food right now anyway."
He grabs my hand and leads me into the grand room.
"Oh, Edward, this is absolutely beautiful. The décor is wonderful."
"Thank you, love. I did it all myself. I need to give you a tour. Come, let me show you around."

As he begins to talk about the different décors in each room on the ground floor, I tune him out completely. Right about now he sounds like the teacher from Charlie Brown. I don’t understand a word he is saying, but I am acting as if I am listening. Right now, I am having a conversation with my internal being.
"You know you need to leave. Whatever you need to say can be said over the phone. There is no need for this. Leave. Now."
"I can handle Edward, and I can handle myself. We are more mature now, and we are not driven by desire."
"No, you need to leave. Forget you ever came here, just leave."
"I am ok. Now leave me be so that I can finish the tour . I am quite impressed with what he has done."
Right at that moment, I realize that he has taken me to the third level of his home, and I am looking at myself. Hanging on the wall is a picture of me dressed in all white holding my sandals, walking along the beach. I remember that day oh so well, but I do not remember my picture being taken. The breeze is blowing through my hair and I am absolutely breathtaking. I remember how I was so ashamed of my skin complexion and longed for a lighter shade. But looking at this picture, with my ebony skin exposed against the white fabric, it was beautiful. I was beautiful.

"Oh, Edward, that is lovely. Where in the world did you get that picture.'
"Remember the last trip we took to the beach and you left for your daily walk. I hired someone the day before to follow you and take different shots of you while you walked. I have an entire photo album with you at the beach that evening, but this was my favorite. I had it blown to poster size, matted and framed. I knew you would come back to me one day. I knew it. I wanted to have it waiting for you. Remember ,I always told you to love your blackness. I wanted you to see for yourself what I see. You are truly beautiful."

With that comment, I stepped away. I felt the heat rising. The heat that I had extinguished so long ago. It was taking me over and I had to get away before the flame ignited again.

"Edward, please. Don’t."
"No, Jade, you are, you are truly beautiful. I’m sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable, but this is how I feel. All of this is for you. The home, the grounds, everything is for you."
"Edward, please." I whispered.
There goes the cinder. It has started to catch flame. My inner being is telling me, whispering in my ear, "Jade, please listen to me and leave. I told you earlier to leave, now look."
I wished, as always, that I had listened to her. It was too late. The fire had started, and the only way it would be extinguished was by him.
I squirmed trying to make reason of what was truly happening. Trying to get my head straight. I needed to think clearly. The thoughts came, but were cloudy. Edward took me in his arms and whispered in my ear,

"I never stopped loving you, Jade. Never."
I pulled away and looked at his gorgeous face.

" I know, Edward, but this is not right. I came here today to talk to you. To reason with you. I just want answers, that’s all. Why can’t you just give me answers?"
"Jade, I will answer any question you have. Just come to me. Stay with me. Love me the way you used to. You complete me, Jade. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now........."

Well, there you have it. It has been started and I will complete it one day. LOL. What do I know about writing a book? Nada. But it is on my, To Do list of things while I still have my right mind, list. :o) I have never been a romance novel type of person, but when I started typing it just came out that way. Thats just a snipit of it. There are a whole lotta pages. Just wanted to give you a little taste, thats all. Just like a man though(some men) got a good thang and don't know it till the good thang is gone... Oh well, I hope things work out for Jade.... Peace, until the next time!