What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

*Waving at anybody* Hey! Hope You had a Good Christmas!!!

Just a comparison from when I first combined to now.
This was taken before i washed and retwisted. I'll post a retwist one after my 11 month day.

Well, I missed my Tuesday entry. Not because it was Christmas or anything, I just skipped it. Hope that everyone had a joyous Christmas! We spent it with my in laws like we do every year and it just like every year it was nice. Later my oldest brother and his familia came to my house and we talked, drank coffee together and just enjoyed each others company. It was really nice. This year the baby was running around pulling ornaments off the tree because he thought they were balls, and throwing them. What a sight to see. It was really good though. I needed that entertainment. It seems like forever since I have really laughed. Thanks to mi bambino I was able to smile... *smooches Preston!*

Anyway, I realize that I havent talked about hair much and this is SUPPOSED to be a hair blog, soooooo lets see. As of tomorrow, Dec 28, I will be 11 months into my locdom. Enjoying every single minute of it too I might add. Still amazed at what my hair can do on its on. I have cut back to washing every other week as opposed to weekly. That is no biggie though because when I was a permie I did the same thing. With the cooler months I am able to go a little longer in between washes thats all. I am still only twisting when I feel like it. I think the last time I twisted was like November 9 or so. I washed last night and retwisted. So its been like 6 weeks since my last retwist. Its all good too. Still rolling. My curls tend to last longer now. I think maybe it is because my locs are trying to mature????? (Hunching my shoulders...) I can still see the twist pattern from when I combined my locs back in late September, early October. Thats cool too, cause I know that if I would have kept the thin ones they would have snapped by now, or I would have had to switch to latching. I love them. Each and every single one. :o)

(See pictures above)

I went into the store a few days before Christmas and the cashier told me that she liked my hair. BIG SMILE here. She asked me how I did it and I told her that I simply roll my hair on regular sponge rollers. She wanted to know if they were twists, and I gladly told her they were locs. She once again told me how pretty my hair was. Love it! Went into another store and this fine young man(literally, he was FWIIIIIINE) told me as I walked into the store, I am feeling your locs. BIGGER SMILE here. Yet at another store a gentleman in passing told me, now that is classy. You know that you are truly beautiful. EVEN BIGGER SMILE here. I smiled and said thank you... Talk about people filling your head up with compliments. Too funny. I enjoyed every single one. :o) I have also cut back on my contact lens wear for the moment. With everything that transpired w/ my son earlier in December, I just felt like picking up my glasses and going. I feel like I can hide behind the specs. I guess others that wear contacts and glasses can relate to what I am saying about that. Anyhoo, It is the END of 07, can you believe it!!!! Going into 08 with a renewed mind about EVERYTHING!!! Life, people, and especially MWA(me). Life is like a box of chocolates.. :o) (remember that?) Anyway thats my entry for today. Happy Thursday, ya'll!

Grace and Peace,

~Fe~

I had no idea that it had been well over a month since I posted to my blog. I have had so many things going on until time has seemed like a blur. You know as women we really go thru alot. First, if we decide to have children, we go thru so many changes physically and emotionally. Then we deliver our children into this world. We go thru hours of pain and pain and birth those beautiful children into the world. Then we teach them, nurture them, raise them. Get them into the teenage years and then things start to change. God help me. I have 4 beautiful children, ages 18,15,10, and 20 months. I love them all and would give my life for them.... My two older ones are boys and it is so hard for teenage black boys in this world. The peer pressure is CRAZY now adays. I remember the hardest thing I had to endure peer pressure wise was sex and smoking... Now, our kids are plagued with gangs, sex, drugs, and so much more.. My boys are very talented. The oldest is very artistic. He designs clothes, he is very talented in music, he can sketch, draw whatever is on his mind, he has mad haircut skills, and he is a wonderful dancer. All of the above skills could take him to so many different places in life. My speech to him is to strive to be his own boss... He sells his artwork now, he plays for different venues in the area, he dances for different events, he cuts male and female hair. Sounds like he could do some thangs... :o) My baby boy(15) is very talented in the sports arena. Whatever sport he plays, he plays very well. He is mathematically inclined. His goal is to go to college and major in mathematical engineering... Music to a mother's ear I tell you.... He is more of the outgoing one and can make a friend at just the greeting of hello... To me that is a gift. Also a curse... God help me. My baby has gotten himself mixed up into something that will STOP him from attending college, stop him from playing HS sports, and ultimately stop him from being that open friendly guy that he is. Nobody wants to see their child go thru anything contrary to what has been taught in the home ya feel me. I have listened to people talk about kids and how this starts at home, that starts at home, and that is so true. Well, the question that I have is when you have someone that has been taught right from wrong and they still make STUPID choices do you still point the finger at the parents? Even prior to what has happened in my home I have often as that question. I have witnessed other parents that did what was right with their children and the children STILL go contrary to what is being taught. So is that considered a dysfunctional home? I want to know the answer to that question, primarily for my own sanity.... God help me... Those that read my blog I solicit prayers, don't just say you will pray, but really pray for us here in NC. My baby is looking at some serious prison time for making stupid choices in "friends". His gift has backfired on him and as his mamma I am scared for him. I am scared for me, I am scared for my daughter who is 10 and looks up to her brother like there is no other. I am scared for his dad who feels like he let his son down in some sort of way. I am scared for my 20 month old who goes into his room calling my son's name and he gets no answer. I am scared for my 18 yr old who is plagued with questions from teachers, peers, coaches, everybody that knows him and he doesnt know how to respond without feeling some type of guilt. We are going thru at this holiday season and yet we still give thanks... So any blogger buddies out there, please say a prayer for us. it doesnt have to be long, just something that says look out for Fe's family. Thanks to all! Happy Tuesday, ya'll....

~Fe~

Me and Black Love

November3 was my birthday! Me and my King had a wonderful day. It seems like forever since he and I have spent quality, talk no bills, no work, no kids, time together. You feel me. It was so relaxing. Nothing out of this world, but it was a day that I had not seen before and day I will never see again, spent with just my king.

Now....
Black love is awesome. Not to take away from any other love but imma black woman and I know about my"black love". I'm talking the real deal, not no fly by night, love you when you got some money in your pocket and can buy me what i want when I want it, kinda love. Im talking the love you thru a few decades kind, the, I've been with you thru the thick and the thin, when you didnt have a dime, when you wanted to give up, kinda love. The kind of, I'll pick u up and hold your hand, walk beside u, not put you down kinda love....... You know. It's the, man I 'm missing you and ready for you to love me like its the first time, make me wanna come back one more time cause I know its good, kind of love. Mmmmm, now see thats what I'm talking bout.. Its the, I'll help u study, I'll cook, I'll get the kids, you go out with yo girlfriends cause you NEED that female ADULT interaction and a little time from the kids, kind of love..... Its that, I forgive you baby, its going to be hard, but we will get thru it kinda love... Its that, I met you when you were 19 trying to find yourself, wanting to make it in this cruel unforgiving world, I fell for you way back when and still fall for you each and every day that I wake up and see you lying beside me kinda love. The kind of love where you still get butterflies when you see em coming down the street, or walk into your office, after almost 20 years of ins and out, ups and downs..... Thats the kinda "black love" I'm talking bout. I label it "black love" cause I'm black, thats all. Not saying any other person of a different race doesnt feel the same way.... Hell, my King aint even ....... ANYWAY, thats my entry for today..... Happy Tuesday peeps. *smooches*

I have always been fascinated with dreads. For as long as I can remember I have always thought that dreaded hair was beautiful. I dont care what state it is in, the beginning, the middle, or the long haul state. For me it was a sign that that particular person was going against the grain. Being different from everybody else. I like that. Just like the fro's at one time when it was taboo to wear one; you know during the time when others were getting their hair pressed and then relaxed. I remember when I was in Junior high and I got teased cause I was wearing a fro... I remember being told girl u need to get yo nappy head done. LOL Funny now, but it wasnt too funny then. I still wore my fro and my mickey mouse ears. (fro puffs) i wanted to dread my hair WAAAAAAAY back then......I was the one that was different ANYWAY. I wore dresses all the time, I didnt have my ears pierced, and I didnt even wear the brand name skirts( at that time Lee) LOL. I sewed some of my skirts, just because I took pride in doing something the way I wanted it done, and looking the way I wanted it to look...The boys liked me cause I was different. The girls hated me cause the boys liked me.... Anywhoo, not a lot has changed from then to now. I did finally get my hair relaxed the summer before going to high school. hated it. I looked like everybody else..... Sooooo, what did I do, not get it relaxed except for like 2x a year. I wore it teased and as big as I could get it, I wore plaits in it, I stood out. I wasnt trying on purpose to stand out, but I just didnt feel like I was an individual anymore. I looked like all of the other 9th grade girls except for I still wore my skirts, long and flowing. I still wore my babydoll shoes.....and would even wear a wrap now and again. Thats when that wasnt a going thing. Quite honestly it was unheard of now that I think about it. So to a degree I had a little bit of my individuality left..... Still wasnt liked by the girls, and the boys STILL liked me cause I was "different." The few friends that I did make and trust, we are STILL friends to this very day... :o) Fast forward, after HS, into college, into the work life, what happened? Started perming on a regular, like every 8 wks or so. What would I do? Wear it pulled back into a ponytail, or pin my hair up on my head. I feel like I really "lost" myself after HS. Its not hard to explain, I just rather not go into it on a blog. Believe me my journals have all the details. Any whoo, I go thru my 20's contemplating going back to my natural state.. I did. I cut all my hair off and wore a fro again. Oh how I felt liberated. The only ones I knew then that were wearing a fro was from the 60's and never fell into the stereotypical hair scene, or they were recovering from chemo. My permie counterparts thought I was trying to "connect" to my African roots.....They thought I was going through a "stage"... I got the pressure from family, I got the pressure from coworkers. I felt the pressure from people in the street... "what is going on with her hair?" funny huh.... So what did I do? fell into the permie state again. I wasnt happy; at all. Did that for a few and then just decided, I just cant do this anymore. I aint being true, its not even who I am. I sat down one evening and literally thought about that girl from Junior High and even though I was different from all the other girls I actually LOVED who I was. Bring the story to 2007.... After being natural a 3rd time around I finally decided that dreads would be my signature "style" till death do me part. So now, I look around and locs arent so "different" anymore. It appears to be "mainstream" if I dare say for some. But I don't know I can kinda feel a person's real connection to their locs. Its kinda crazy... I look at the ones who have locs that are grazing well below the midsection of their back and I KNOW they are NOT wearing their locs as a fashion statement. I look at the roots and I don't see that ultra manicured look and I know in my gut they are NOT into a loc fashion club... They are at peace with themselves, and the amount of time that it took them to grow their locs to that length I am sure they learned a lot about themselves... Yes, I am guilty of being manicured to a degree, but I have learned something in the past few months...... This aint no hairstyle for me, its becoming who I really am, who I was way back when, it says something about MY individuality... It says that Fe loves Fe... big hug....I have always been plagued as the "black sheep" of my family and I never looked at it as a bad thing. I kinda feel like the "black sheep" with my locs, but its not a bad thing... Its me. Its who I am really meant to be. I feel like I am coming out of my cacoon. :o) Its like I was put to sleep for a minute the summer I went to high school, like I was sleeping beauty but now I am waking up. yea, the grammatics are all off, but you get the picture... :o) I still sew, I still wear skirts every single day, long and flowing.. :o) but now i have my ears pierced and a few other piercings, the women like me and the only man I worry about liking/loving me is my boo... Individual I am.....
So, what is my desire? I want locs that will graze my hindside, cascading past my knees..... Sounds like the longhaul to me.. :o) Happy Tuesday, ya'll...

Grace and Peace, ~Fe~

Now THAT"S very attractive, WTH???

Beauty in the straight state....LOL

Beauty in the natural state...... I LOVE ME!

Ok, today is Friday. Last night, I did my regular weekly wash routine and simply didnt feel like rolling my hair or anything. So I greased, yes greased my scalp, pulled it back and put on a skully. When I went to bed last night my intent was to let my hair be until next Thursday which is November 1. Two days prior to my birthday. So what did I do? I pulled out one of my old wigs, slapped it on and went to work. It is one of my straighty ones and quite honestly I aint feeling the look cause I have NOT had straight hair for like what 3 yrs or so now. I rocked that straighty though.. :o) But anyway, I am in my office minding my business and one of my coworkers happen to come by my door and she does a uturn. These are her exact words, "I like your hair. Now THAT is very attractive." Mind you the emphasis is on THAT. I kinda looked at her for a moment and then said thanks. WTH? Are you trying to say that my hair otherwise is NOT attractive? It kinda took me back, ya know. Mind you she is like 70+ and really needs to be at home somewhere, so it's not like I was going to give her the usual smartness that normally comes out of my mouth. It's funny how people equate straight w/ attractive. I dunno. Am I mad, nah, cause everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I just know that I am attractive in whatever way I wear my hair. Its an esteem thing you know. I have lots of it. Enough for the next one that seems to NOT have any. Me loves me, and that in my opinion, is really all that matters.... Anyway, a few minutes later she comes back and says, "I didnt upset you did I with saying that about your hair?" I told her just like this, "You should have known me long enough by now to know that I really don't care what people think. Everybody has an opinion." (I have been here 10 yrs). She says, " I think its nice how you change up. I have to always have the same day in and day out." I simply smile and say Miss blankety blank, it's all good.
Happy Friday, ya'll!

November 2, National Blackout Day

This "boycott" is not just aimed at African Americans, but ALL people who are for Justice! So contrary to what race you are, let us show that we do have Economic Power in this country. Everyone supported the march on Jena, lets also support the Nov. 2 Blackout, let us also support the March on Washington, November 16, 2007.


November 2, 2007

National BlackOut Day

What: A National Blackout that is necessary for African Americans, and is long over due. Especially with all the present injustices that are being allowedand accepted in America right now. Until we have federal legislation regarding hate crimes, as African Americans, we need to band together to show our "Economic Power" by refusing to spend ANY money from fast food restaurants to gas.

Why: As African Americans we spend an estimated 715 billion dollars a year, and if we were to stop spending for one day that is 2 billion dollar that will not in the system. However we ask that you don’t make a mad dash to the stores days prior or the days following. If the stores have a major increase in sales right before or right after the Blackout than we will create the impact we need.

When: Friday, November 2, 2007



Warren Ballentine "The People’s Attorney" and radio Truth Fighter is calling for a National Blackout throughout America. Not only for this one day, but the week leading up to November 2. If we stock up on supplies that we need NOW, take our lunch to work the week leading up to November 2, the one day Blackout will ultimately lead into a 4 day Blackout.

For further information please tune your radios to 750AM WAUG Mon-Fri, 10am to 1pm for the Truth Fighter himself, Warren Ballentine. Or log on to http://thetruthfighters.blogspot.com